Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
