I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
