Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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