were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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