break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
