just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
