He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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