it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
