I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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