Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize