Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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