he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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