glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
my nose is crying tears of wow.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
