yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
