I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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