yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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