We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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