I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
They took my balls.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
