just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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