when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
