He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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