this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
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