Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
