you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
