Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
