I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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