new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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