Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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