Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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