its not stalking. its research.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I enjoy the company of your penis
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize