My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
