Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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