we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
