Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
