It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
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oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
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It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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