so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
