Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
