Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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