isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
PANTIES FOUND
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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