Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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