Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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