I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
