Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
