on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
