what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
