I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
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its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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