is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
