Redeem this text for a blowjob
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Please don't give away my fajitas
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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