I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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