Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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