i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
