is your mom at the bar?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
