Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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