A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
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The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
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He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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