I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Do vagina's smell?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
