I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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