yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
