All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
