I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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