yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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