One girl and one boy is just not enough.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
